Spouting...

I wonder if I made the right choice, decisions,

Questioning daily, every second I'm awake?

I look and I feel nothing, muted and numb,

Undeserved and unwarranted, yet can't forsake.      

 

What I thought I so wanted, wasn't.

Though too late to turn back, it is done,

I have no way to right this wrong-

Hide it carefully, and bite my tongue.      

 

I know its felt, seen behind my smile-

Despite my desperate attempt to cover,

Its in my actions, my words, a simple look.

There are scars now to, one day, discover.      

 

The sun is always shining bright in my world,

Passing over and leaving me in her shadow.

It always looks the same, unchanging-

To me, this world in which we wallow.      

 

I'm told light is love and love is truth-

Merely words, no substance without actions.

If chaos and peace live hand in hand,

Redemption can equal satisfaction.      

 

As years fade, even decades fly past-

In the same spot and place in time. 

I evolve, but all remains the same,

Am I moving, or is it all in my mind?      

 

A precious gem once lived here,

Now buried in darkness, down so deep.

Still alive, breathing well, awaiting...

To be turned into a diamond for keeps.