Sunday, April 2, 2006

Gripe, bitch, moan....

Well, we've done it. 
Gone and joined the masses of twice-a-year clock changers.  Damn Republican, Bush-suck-up governor, its all his fault.  He claims this will boost Indiana's economy.  Ha! I say.  Prove it, asshole.  I'm tapped into local government and they have the next few months to prove it before I start yet another campaign against this fool.
We've survived some 30 years not changing times, what makes him believe it will help now, when businesses dealing with our state are used to us not changing times?  I'm betting nothing changes, but the clocks. 
I'm bitter about the whole issue anyway.  Anything that makes me lose an hour of sleep, I'm against.
In other news, it seems Wayne has found a new business partner.  I told him before that no single woman is just gonna give and give and not expect something in return.  Today, he tells me she wants it to be more than just business.  I said, yeah well, I told you so....
He says she's not his cup of tea, so he won't pursue anything. <cough, bullshit, cough>  Then he tells me since he and I worked so well together-when the relationship ended, so did the business aspect of it... he didn't want to go down that road again.  I told him he was nuts if he thought the business side ever ended.  I am still doing work for him.  Duh!
I told him I backed off because I was tired of feeling like I was doing all the work, while he was out partying.  He would call and say I need such-and-such ASAP, and I would immediately get to work.  Once I had what he needed, he acted like it was no big rush.  But, God help me if I didn't get right to it and didn't have things when he asked.  I told him I stopped making his shit a priority for me!  That's the difference.
Not to mention, all the hours I would spend researching things only to have him throw the information away and then ask me to do it all over again.  It is a huge pet peeve of mine to waste my time.  Especially if I'm wasting my time on the same crap over and over.  He doesn't get that.  He would say 'practice makes perfect' and I would reply 'but I'm not the one who needs the practice'...
So, this woman has done a lot of grant proposals and she knows how to accomplish it.  He does need someone like that.  Half joking, I asked him if I will get a job.  His exact words were "for what?"  I got so pissed off, I hung up.  I spent all of my 20's getting his butt to where he is now, and he's just gonna blow me off like that?!  Ask me for something else, moron.  But I'm playing it cool for now. 
He called me this morning, as usual, to talk about the Sunday morning news shows (An old habit of ours).  And I didn't bring up yesterday, neither did he.  He knows he owes me for all I have done, despite the fact that I had our child against his wishes~for which he still, and probably will forever, hold a grudge against me.  I have lived up to my end of the bargain.  Now, its his turn.  Funny, how shit slips his mind.
I told him that I am jealous.  Not for the fact that she's working with him, more so because she knows how to do this stuff and I don't.  See, I like to consider myself invaluable.... even if it isn't true.  I like to feel that way.  I like to believe I can do anything.  I just need to learn how. It was an attitude adjustment that, I admit, I do need.
He says his issue with her is that she is not teaching him what she's doing, she's just doing it herself.  So, I told him to speak up.  Get some balls, Man!  I told him its not going to work like that.  That he needs to make sure she is telling him step-by-step of what and how things are being completed.  I hate how he counts on other people to always be there to cover his ass.
Then I laid into him.
I told him this has been an issue with me since he and I started working together.  That he likes to let everyone do the work for him that he NEEDS to do himself.  This was why I started easing up on the stuff I was doing~ to get him motivated to do it himself.  It didn't last very long.  I said he needs to be captain of his own ship, and not be clueless as to how he got there.
He hung up on me.
But, like always, once he sat back and absorbed what I said, he said I was right.  That he needed to stop depending on other people to accomplish his goals for him.
Wayne has always had this need to have help.  He has confidence in himself and his ideas, but not in the execution of those ideas.  He needs to be reassured often, and it drives me up a wall.  I told him that and he said hedidn't realize how needy he really is.  <light bulb moment>
I don't like how much control he gives away in the beginning, then tries to come back and take command later in the process.  He's letting her think she's running the show, and then he'll drop the bomb...  He says he's letting her know that upfront~that this is his thing~but, come on, I know better...  so I just chuckled at him.
This woman is so gung-ho, she's saying by this time next year, he should have his building and grants to start up.  I asked him which job he was going to quit so he could put the time its going to take into this business.  He had no reply.  Does he actually believe he will be able to work both jobs and run a business?!  <banging head on wall>
So, I'm shutting up.  Staying out of it.  When he calls to talk, I will listen, but I won't give any advice.  He's going to have to find out for himself.  Of course, he asked her the same question about the jobs, and she told him she had already quit her part-time job to pursue this... (should've been his first clue that she was in this for more than just a business deal)
Whatever.  I hope she does get him the funding.  I hope it all works out for the best.  But he is far from ready to run a business.  I tried to tell him that its all going to fall on his shoulders when employees call in or don't show.  He seems to believe he'll be immune to the pitfalls of business....
We shall see.
Alright, I'm done bitching.  Sorry for such a crappy entry, but I needed to get this off my chest :)
Hope you're having a happy Sunday....
Picture from Hometown
Gracie and Zeus (bro's dog) on the moon :)


dying4happiness said...

Bitching...that's what journals are for...if not you might go crazy and run around the White House with an oozie!


redbaranjj said...

I love that picture of Grace!!!  How cool is that!!

I hate changing the clock with the changing of the seasons...messes up your internal clock really bad...not to mention losing an hour of sleep really pisses me off.  

I hope things work out okay for Wayne...and bitch away...that's what this journal is for!  


onecrazymomto5 said...

Bitch away girlfriend!!  It's your place and your right!

Just wait until next year!  Beginning in 2007 daylight savings time will be about a month longer.  It will start in mid March instead of April and go into November instead of late October!  All to give the farmers 4 extra weeks of sunlight!  And less electricity used at ballparks and such!  

quartrlyfecrysis said...

Like the ladies said..bitch away!  It sounds frustrating, dealing with the business stuff with Wayne.  I hear you on the jealousy..I'm the same way.  I like to feel needed and I like to feel like I'm the one for the job...even if I'm not.  ;)

I didn't realize you guys were doing daylight savings this year....I think it's bull all around the table.  I get the thing about the farmers needing the light during crop season, but changing the clocks doesn't change the seasons, or weather conditions for the crops.  And the energy thing...I dunno.  I get it, but I don't.  Now you get to memorize the lovely...Fall back, SPring forward thing. ;)


nighterror5 said...

I'm not sure if I would be able to be so calm talking to him after everything that has happened between you both. You have more of a golden heart than I do, I don't know how you do it sometimes, I give you alot of credit Cat! I'd be like the hell with you, do it yourself, lol but I am a .... that way I guess. I been screwed over so many times by so many people, that is why I have this attitude =( Hope it works out for him though.