Sunday, September 10, 2006

Remembering differently...

Well, its upon us once again.  The 5th year since the World Trade center was demolished.  While skeptics still argue over the facts, and ABC is still airing the movie based on the 9/11 Commission Report starting tonight (which was still being edited as of last night to please the powers that be), most of those who lost loved ones, are still mourning.  I think our nation is still mourning. 
Still trying to place blame and maintain that they made no mistakes.  Still trying to convince us that Iraq was to blame, despite the facts that have been aired again and again, stating otherwise.
Why haven't we found and captured Osama bin Laden yet?  If you've been reading me awhile, then you know why I believe Osama roams free today.  Here's a refresher:  I KNOW that our intelligence agencies know where he is.  If our beloved dumbass of a President wasn't sucking Osama's Daddy's ass, I think Osama would have been killed 4 1/2 years ago. 
Remember that Daddy bin Laden is a billionaire, and being that they live in (and own most of) Saudi Arabia, one of the places we get large quantities of oil from, well Bushy-boy isn't gonna shoot that relationship down any time soon.... not by killing the man that did this to us
But that isn't where my heart and head lie today.  Me~I'm mourning for different reasons....
It was four years ago today, that my Grams died.  Here, in my house.  It seems like yesterday she fell off the commode, after having a fatal stroke.  On the bright side, she died where she spent most of her last months-in the bathroom.  She was obsessed with the bathroom, going in there at least 25 times a day, "just to make sure."  Being wheelchair bound didn't slow her down.
She died in the house she was born in, where her mother had passed so many years before, while Grams was a teenager.  She died with her family present, in a loving environment where she was still allowed to smoke her cigarettes at will.  She died after she got almost a whole year with her first and only great granddaughter, who seemed the only bright spot in my Grams' demented mind.  The only time she smiled is when Gracie was around, chasing her wheelchair  :)
I loved that lady.  Though, the last few years were hard to love her because she had become so hateful and bitter.  I think this was because her life had not turned out the way she thought it would. 
The daughter of a well-off Accountant turned very successful candy maker (wonder where I get it from.. LOL), Grams married my Grandfather, a college grad ,turned professional ball player.  I think Grams thought she married a rich man.  Such was not the case.  Grandpa came with his own issues, including drug addiction and alcoholism.
He played college basketball for Butler University and led them to a Championship (or two), before giving up basketball for baseball.  He played in Cincinnati for a while, which led him to be traded to the Yankees, back in the glory days of The Babe, Lou Gherig, Joe Dimaggio, etc etc.  Grandpa played beside the best.  But, if you've ever seen the movies about ball players in the 30's, then you know where he ended ~morphined up or on some other type of injectable drugs... and boozing.
Yes, I believe my Grams was unhappy for most of her life.  She and Grandpa got divorced in the late 70's.  He died seven years later, and my Grams moved back into their home. (She left and lived with the gay couple she worked for at the time) 
She had a great time then, socializing with her friends.  Tossing back her Southern Comfort Manhattans or Bloody Marys, with her freshly painted red nails gleaming.  My friends thought I had the coolest Grandmother ever!  And I would have to agree.  She was the life of the party.  The Belle of the ball!  Always had her nails and hair done, always speaking what she thought... and telling people off when they deserved it.
This is the woman I remember.  This is the way she should be remembered.  Regardless of how her last years with us on Earth were, our perceptions of her then... I'll always remember that I had the best Grandmother ever!
Rest in peace and love, Grams....
I love you~


valphish said...

Your grams sounds like a wonderful lady, Cat =).  This made me smile.  One year ago exactly was her death?  So sorry, Cat.  Glad I found your journal again. xox

onecrazymomto5 said...

Oh Cat, I am so sorry for your loss.  I am glad that you can remember her as the wonderful woman that she was before.  It is always important to go back to the good years and wonderful memories.  Unfortunately the last years are not always the best.

sarajanesmiles said...

Aww Cat, must have been lovely to have such a cool Grams, she does sound pretty cool to me :o)  Lovely also that you have such fond memories of her, and of her and your Gracie.  Mmmm, Southern Comfort, haven't had that in years!!
Sara   x

quartrlyfecrysis said...

aww kitty :)  Your grams sounds incredible, definitely a cool grandma....I didn't know all of that stuff about her.  Glad you and Gracie got to spend that time with her.  
You take care lovey~

stupidsheetguy said...

While we should never, ever forget the events of September 11th, 2001, I'm also glad that this time of year allows you to bring back the now-fond memories of Grams. This was a lovely tribute to her. I'm sorry for your loss, but hold on to the cherished memories.


whatafinegrl said...

Isn't it nice to talk about those before us, who molded so much of who we are. grams sounded like a wonderful person. As for the bitterness, my mother went through that too before she passed away. Take care, Brandie

redbaranjj said...

May those wonderful memories comfort you, and keep her alive in your heart.  


emeraldcalf said...

What a life your grandmother lived. I am sure you are so proud and I think I may see a twinkle of her in you...;)