Monday, December 13, 2004

I see London, I see France....

This is the only entry I had planned on doing, but the Peterson thing hit a nerve, so now to lighten my spirits.... and maybe yours.... here's the rest of the story.  

My daughter has the ears of  a bat, the nose of hound dog, and the eyes of an eagle and yesterday she worked her voodoo on us all...   First, she woke up way too early (I'm still thinking she was sleep-walking) and loud and grouchy (the other signs she's not awake, her eyes are just open)When she wakes up like this, its best just slap in a movie and let her zone until she really wakes up.  Hand her a drink and some mini-wheats in a bowl and let her be!  

No, didn't happen.  

She threw so many tantrums before 10 am, I'd had enough.... to bed her grinchyness went.  Yeah, right.  It took 2 hours and me laying on her floor to get her to sleep.  Sheeesh, what's her deal?!  Pre-pre-menstrual syndrome it seems. 

She loves being in her bedroom and normally falls asleep within 30 minutes.   So, finally she goes to sleep and sleeps for 2 1/2 hours, longer than normal.  She woke up in the same mood, too.  ::::Joy, joy:::: 

Now, I had to go to the store and get some running done and had planned to take her with me.  No way!  Not in that mood, I'd be arrested for some type of abuse for telling her no for sure....she'd scream like she was getting beat up or something in this mood.  She stayed here with Dad.  

Big mistake!  Huge!  Gigantic! (for those of you on your toes, you'll know where I stole that quote from!)  From Dad's story, she tried to strangle both cats (she hugs them by grabbing around their necks...trying to break her of it, but Kitty is scratching her thinking she'll get it and leave them alone), broke three people from the Christmas Village, got into everything, etc, etc....  

She got to sit in timeout too many times to count now.  I was over being nice.  She was warned three times (one more than I normally allow) then she got spanked.  Yes, I spank her when she's being an obstinate little turd.  It doesn't happen very often, but I'm telling you she needed it.  So, I spanked her, three smacks on the naked butt.  You know, the blush of pink type smacks, not the bright red type--saving those for later, I'm sure (she is MY kid, so I know what's in store for me)  

Picture from Hometown

I did it.  She cried.  I pulled her pants back up and told her why I did it and I'd do it again if she didn't settle down.  She was moving while I was pulling her pants up, so I didn't get them up in the back very well.  She walked by the full length mirror and saw her butt crack.  

What a reason to break out in song!   

Sure enough she rang out her version of 

 "My name is Paris, you see my butt crack!"  

(Sung to the tune of Eddie Murphy's "I got some ice cream and you don't have none" skit.)  

Yes, I am a bad mom for starting this song, but it wasn't intended for my daughter at all.  She must have overheard me say it (I use it in reference to those low hip ridin' jeans that expose the type, brand, and size of the thong worn underneath them or a butt crack, like Paris Hilton) 

It definitely made up for some of her actions for the day, though ;)  

Have a good night....  



sarajanesmiles said...

You know, all parents reading this are nodding their heads in understanding and sympathy, we've all been there hon.  Happens to the best of us ;o)
I don't do the smacking thing, because with Jason being autistic, we're never really sure that he understands - maybe he plays on this!!  The song must have 'cracked' you up!!!
Sara   x

quartrlyfecrysis said...

That's hilarious!
We have those tantrums and 'those days' here too!  The joys of raising a daughter ;)  Whenever I leave Daddy to handle it I come home to a disaster and the two of them not wanting to talk to each other for a week!  
They should market a pre-Midol, one that also counteracts those thong exposing low-riders ;)

valphish said...

Oh, that is so funny, Cat!!  Gotta laugh at it.  My kids kept me in stitches when they were little.  You are doing a great job with Gracie, I am sure!  Have a good day!

thelovetrain said...

Yes  indeed, I liked that. That was real cute and so is the micro-collage.

Wish I could have heard her singing the 'butt-crack' song. I know that I would have got off on that. [:D]

~Crack'er 'B'

redbaranjj said... matter how mad they make naughty they can takes a one liner to make you laugh your butt off and give them a hug!

alilcountrycharm said...

LOL! OMG! I remember the ice cream song from eddies' delirious act! What a hoot!  I can totally see gracie standing there singing the butt crack song to that theme!
Don't you dare feel bad! That's the problem with kids now a days....they don't get "disiciplined" anymore!!  This society(and LACK of parenting) has made our teens what they are today!!! I don't do it often either, but carly has gotten a few swats to the booty already! I refuse to have my kids act like a bunch of undisciplined hooligans when they reach their teenage years, doing whatever they please!! Your good mommy cat!!! Gracie will grow up knowing that you love and respect her BECAUSE of the values and morals you are in stilling in her  now....;-)  

Hugs & Blessings,

djzgirl71 said...

OMG you spanked her on her bare ass?  UH you child abuser!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am ashamed of you Cat!  LOL I am sure she got exactly what she deserved!!!!!!  Love the little ditty you taught her!!!


seekingmagick2 said...

LMAO goodness , what is it with kids and their Butts ?
My 3 year old likes to get out of the bath and wiggle around naked like a stripper , good thing there is no poles in my house .........

swebb1989 said...

LOL you give them a good whip so they don't end up like Scott Peterson! Spank away~!