Sunday, December 5, 2004

Letter from Santa.....

'Dear Friends 

I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas.
I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem.

 The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French  hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit.

On top of all this!
Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.

Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the things you want. This year I suggest you get your asses down to Walmart before everything is gone.

Santa'          Picture from Hometown

I get a laugh from this every time I read it..... thanks for reminding me, Mel :)  



sarajanesmiles said...

It's tough being Santa isn't it!!
Sara   x

quartrlyfecrysis said...

That is too funny!  I'm half on the floor!

thelovetrain said...

I'd MUCH rather have "eight maids a milking" than, "ten ladies dancing", any day... Ewwwww, I dig that fantasy. No fair writing such shit when you know a horny, celibate guy reads your journal all of the time.

~Lustful 'B'

alilcountrycharm said...

ROFL! Thanks for sharing ;-)
I needed that!

vernae69 said...

LOL, thanks for sharing!

redbaranjj said...

Love it!!  LMAO!! Good one, thanks for the laugh!!