Saturday, April 30, 2005

So far, Saturday stinks...

I'm reading the story of the woman now dubbed 'The Runaway Bride'.   

The woman, Jennifer Wilbanks, who vanished days before her wedding, and who phoned her fiance on Friday and told him she'd been kidnapped while jogging.   

Who was picked up by the police in New Mexico at a 7-11 and questioned for hours before she finally came clean and said she just had cold feet.  I've read that no charges will be filed against her, too.   

I have a problem with this.   

Instead of stepping up to the plate and being HONEST with her fiance, family and friends.... she pulls a hoax like this.  All the manpower hours spent searching for her, not to mention the police's time and efforts, and the worry her loved ones went through~and she will serve no time?!  Pay no fines?!   

WTF?!! 

What kind of lesson are we teaching?  This is not a child were talking about, she is a 32-year-old woman who didn't have the guts to be HONEST!   

Are we raising our girl children to be such wimps?  Too afraid to tell the truth... too afraid to hurt another person's feelings that we will go to such lengths?  Oh.. and don't think I'm only going off because of this one chick.  No, there are many stories like this (the worst of which was Susan Smith).   

Why do we (women) believe it is easier to tell people what they want to hear rather than what we feel?  Now, some will say that she will have to live with the guilt (as in Ms. Smith's case above), but I say that is bullshit.   

I am a woman, I only feel guilt over what I let myself feel.  Granted, I never drove my kids into a lake to watch them drown, or called my man and said I'd been kidnapped.... but I've been conniving and deceitful before.  I was around 17 years old, too.....  Guilt is an emotion that can be controlled, even non existent if one wants.  

Ms. Wilbanks caused unnecessary panic, intentionally.  I know it is easier to run away than to stay in an relationship one is not sure about.  (I also believe the 'easy' way is never the right way)   

Instead of talking to her family or a friend about how to get out of this situation, she chose not to embarrass herself in front of them and admitting she was scared.... oh no... she said somebody took her.  Wonder if saying she was kidnapped and finding that to be a lie~is any less embarrassing?  

She did not even think of her family and how this would scare the living daylights out of them.  It was a selfishly motivated thing to do, something a teenager would do-not a 32-year-old woman. 

Hell, even a man who had cold feet wouldn't make up a story-he just wouldn't show or he'd call it off...   

My point is this, we must tell our daughters while they are young that these things will happen.  That they will be rejected.  That they also need to know how (and when) to reject someone themselves.  Inform them that life is not happily ever after.... and not usually with the first person you feel love for.   

We need to empower them with the words and feelingsnow, before it happens--so they know BEFORE the first boyfriend comes along.  Our girls need to know its okay to say 'You are not the one for me' and have the criteria which to base that on, other than 'because I love him'.   

I know there are women out there who already do this and hopefully teaching other girls the same.  I also know there are women who are the complete opposite, and if they are happy in their choices in life~great.  

I saying this to the people who would go to such lengths to get out of something, just so they won't lose or look like an idiot, or thinking more of what people think of her than what she does of herself....  

Maybe there are men who do this, but the ones I know tell the truth, even if it is brutal.  Call it harsh, I call it respect.  

Yeah, my girl is gonna have some balls.....  

Think I'm done now.....

Cat~

8 comments:

thelovetrain said...

I'm hip...

Ew, I wonder what kinds of naughty things, her imaginary kidnappers did to her? Tadpole.

~Brian  @---->---

http://journals.aol.com/thelovetrain/tracks/

http://journals.aol.com/thelovetrain/Drift/

vernae69 said...

If I were him I wouldn't marry her now, well at least he should invest in some kind of tracking device!

redbaranjj said...

okay...first of all she needs to be punished for what she did.  
Last year a college girl did the same thing here.  Her boyfriend broke up with her...so to get attention she staged this huge abduction.  It was all over our news...breaking in on every channel...scared the shit outta Josh when it broke in on a cartoon he was watching!!  Days and days...everyone was looking for her...everywhere in our state...ALL FAKE!!!!  She went to huge messures...left clues the whole bit...cost the state millions!!!  She is sitting in jail now...crying the blues.  Dumb shit!!  AND her parents got stuck paying all the fines...or, are stuck...millions of dollars worth!
I am so with ya on this one...
*hugs*

sieblonde said...

I don't think  'stable' women (or people) do these kinds of things.  Do they?   I mean do sane people engage in this type of behavior?   le sigh.   what a mess she created.  ~Sie

sistercdr said...

I'm totally with you!

visionarydiva1 said...

Okay Cat I am with you some of the way. I realize what it is like to have to come clean about something that might hurt someone but I don't think she should just get off scott free. I think she should have to pay some fines. Sometimes being honest is easier said than done. Believe me I know. Luckily for us we have strong personalities where we can be honest and not think twice about it.

Amy
http://journals.aol.com/visionarydiva1/ABookClubforJLanders/

quartrlyfecrysis said...

oh so true Cat.  I always tell Pey that doing the right thing isn't always easy, but it's the right thing.  Keep spreading the word and we'll have a powerhouse of ass kicking daughters out there running the world!  Go Go Girl Power!!
xoxo~B

mum24boyz said...

I know it, I'm furious as well.. she should be brought up on charges or something, the whole thing was such a waste of police manpower, and what she put her family through.. my goodness!! who can do that kind of thing.. her family was crying on national T.V, her friends thought she was dead.. how cruel..all because she couldn't confront her fiance about the wedding? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she is alive and well..but geez...next time someone wants to marry you that you are not sure about, just say no!  
Robyn :)