Thursday, May 5, 2005

I want a new drug....

The leading pharmaceutical companies are turning their focus to women's health and issues we face which cause us to need certain medications.  These new wonder drugs are in testing and clinical trials now. 

Below is a list of said drugs, which if trials go well, should be available to consumers sometime next spring.   

Maybe one can help you :   New Drugs For Women

D A M M I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full
hours.

ST. M O M M A'S  W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed !
before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.  (I want this one!  I want this one, now!!)

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.  (I like country music and trucks :)

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping increases potency,
duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat. (LMAO!)

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. (I would buy stock in this ;)

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him.
    

Just having some fun  :)  

Cat~

8 comments:

djzgirl71 said...

:: still laughing:: now that was funny shit.  Howz a bout Fukitol?

Stacy

sieblonde said...

LOL..  Fukitol is out there in pill form too.  I saw a website for it.   these are cute, Cat.  

onecrazymomto5 said...

  I definitely need some ST.MOMMAS WORT.  Does it only work on pre-schoolers??  And as for the JACKASSPIRIN - does it help with putting the seat down.  I don't have problems with them lifting the seat - only remembering to put it down - especially in the middle of the night.  Thanks for the laughs!!!

Colleen

redbaranjj said...

I love it!!!  LOL!!!
*hugs*

quartrlyfecrysis said...

pepto-bimbo! looks like it would go nicely with my toast 'to sex with no babies!'

this is so funny!
xoxo~Bernie

vernae69 said...

I'll take one of each!

sarajanesmiles said...

Lolol!!  Love these, when can we get them?!
Does St. Momma's Wort work if you have five year olds too?!
Sara   x

emeraldcalf said...

OMG I am with you. Market it and they will buy it!!

~Heather