I really miss being here, reading your journals, writing some, and chatting with my buds.....
Went to four other places today to put in more apps-- something will work out, even if I have to work late evening (I simply refuse to work nights...nope, no way, not gonna happen). But I'm giving in to the working evenings idea-though not my first choice.
I would prefer to work days now that I have Grace. I have usually worked evening shift--at the hospital, that meant less work (patient care-wise~no therapies, more visitors who'd take care of said patient while visiting, only one meal, etc), less hectic, and my most favorite part of all----LESS BOSSES :)
Of course, I have done my time on day shift. For a year or so at the hospital, while I was between college careers (I changed majors 3 times after taking a few years in each major...lol). Then, after I finally graduated with my (non) coveted Accounting degree, I got a 'real job' at United States Auto Club (USAC).
For those of you who just went 'huh?', USAC sanctions open-wheeled races like midgets, sprint cars, and silver crown cars.
Some very famous drivers have traveled through the Club such as Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, Ryan Newman, The Foyts, The Unsers and more. Stewart and Newman were running with USAC while I was employed with them. Stewart was (he's toning it down a little) a total ass then, cocky as all get out. Newman is still the same sweet, funny guy he was then :::ahhhh, to dream:::
There are only 10 employees, it was a sweet job--12 (yes, 12!) paid holidays, 3 weeks vacationtime, 1 week sick time, paid medical, dental, and optical, M-F, 9-5--and I was in charge of payables and receivables, entering race points, reconciliations (which I completely sucked at), with the occasional shot at payroll. It was brown sugar- inside -caramel- inside -chocolate- with honey- and whipped cream on top- sweet. Big mistake leaving that job, but that's another entry someday.
Anyway, to the point of this-with Grace's 45 minute dance class on Wednesday, and 2 hours of school on Tues and Thurs., plus nap time--she's busy during the day. I'd much rather be gone then, so I can be here with her at night. I love putting her to bed still~though she doesn't like to rock very long anymore :::sigh::: I love the alone time we get then-we are never alone unless we're out of the house.
My Dad is always here, in his chair downstairs, dictating things to be done and that are being done wrong. We got into it today, to the point he told me I had 30 days to get out. This is what happened-- I had 'Kitty' (brother's cat) inside my fleece vest-hey, she likes it in there. Grace (who has been warned Lord knows how many times to be nice to the kitty) starts pushing down on the cat's head hard-the cat was clawing me. So I bopped, smacked, however you want to visualize it, Grace on the head and told her to stop it (again).
She, being the drama queen she is when her Poppy is in his throne (no, not the toilet either) looks at me and smiles before opening up the water works in an all out effort to have Poppy yell at me. Uh, do I have to tell you it worked?! Dad starts yelling at me 'What did you do that for?' 'Don't you ever smack her in the face!' I said 'I didn't smack her in the face, I smacked her on her head.' 'She knows better than to be mean to the cat.'
Well, it got into an all out battle overwho exactly is the parent of this child. With me saying she's mine and I'll do what I think is necessary to get through to Grace. And him saying that I am the problem here, that I cause all the hostility in this house. It couldn't possibly be him. No way.
My Dad moves from his chair to go to the bathroom, go to whichever Dr. appt, or run out to friends or errands maybe once a week. Its like being watched all the time! It sucks. I love both my parents and appreciate all they continue to do for me, but living here is harder than it would be living on my own with Grace.
There are too many adults here and we all cancel each other out where she is concerned. And Grace takes after her mother in being a master manipulator (a trait I buried in my mid 20s), so she works it, people. I'm waiting for the day when she fakes the fall and everything, like football and basketball players do--pretending injury.
My brother and I have talked about us moving in with him, but that's a ways off yet. (His job is going well, so far :) One day, when Grace is in school full time-I'll get a career job and she and I can have a more normal life. Til then, Dad and I said our apologies and explained each other's points-and have conceded this round.
He is kind of right that I have been in a mood lately. True enough, I'm getting pretty discouraged as more days go by without hearing anything, but I have things to fall back on if I have to--just didn't want to go there quite yet. So, I didn't think I was that bad..but maybe I am being mean lately.
I think its just because I miss my J~land friends! More foot work tomorrow...