Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Birthday Blues

Normally, I'd be revved up about Gracie's birthday tomorrow and running around trying to get things done for her party on Sunday.  Maybe I'd feel that way if I wasn't sick with whatever she had last week.  But sometime today it hit me that she's, most likely, the only baby I will have and I got sad.  She's not A baby anymore **boohoo**.  She told me tonight before I put her in bed "Mommy, I want to be a baby again!"  Secretly agreeing with her, I said "You'll always be my baby girl, no matter how old you get."  This seemed to content her.  But I really miss having a baby around!!      I said I'd write about "Grace's" party earlier, so here goes that story:     My brother and I are the only kids on my dad's side of the family (mom is from Baltimore and her mom, and a sister live there, her other 2 sisters live in Pennsylvania).  So, I was the last baby born in the "Hildebrand" side, until my baby was born on 9/29/01.  Since there are no kids in the family or in the neighborhood (and all my friends' kids are 10 and older), Grace's birthday party is for the adults in our lives.  Oh, and don't feel bad for her...she gets all the attention and all the presents, although she has to fight Poppy (my dad) and her uncles to play with her toys first, she has a great time (the little ham).  She doesn't know the difference about real birthday parties yet (lol...maybe she never will **fingers crossed**). Besides, this year she has her dance class and preschool to celebrate with and take treats to.    If I had a job or a steady income, I might've taken her to Chuckie Cheese's or something...but momma's poor, so we'll make do with what we have.  Sometimes in reading through other's journals about their celebrations, I feel guilty that I can't do those things for her.  Then I snap back to reality and remember the girl is only 3, she will not remember if she went to a fancy party or out to play games when she is older.  She'll just remember that all her favorite people in the world (with the exception of the PBS Kids line-up and some Nick characters) came to celebrate her.  Happy Birthday, baby!!!


vernae69 said...

Happy Birthday Gracie!  They grow so fast.  Love the font by the way :)

sieblonde said...

Happy Birthday Gracie!!  Please don't be sad Mom.  Gracie is one very special, lucky little girl who has something better than an expensive party.  She has a Mom that wants the best for her and a family that loves her very much, as this story shows.  When parties have long been forgotten, she'll remember the love.

Susan (aka SieBlonde) who's baby just turned 17 today, very quietly.

redbaranjj said...

Happy Birthday Gracie!!  And Mommy....do not feel bad!!!  I know exactly where you are coming from...totally!!  There have been a few years where we felt guilty about not being able to give Josh what we thought he wanted...and we were wrong.  Loving people around him, playing and laughing, and a home made cake..that's what they remember.